Why

Why am I writing this blog? I started asking why - why do I have such an affinity for family photos, family videos, family history, for knowing the names and faces of the individuals in this family? Why did poking and poring through the albums, trunks, and drawers in Grandma and Grandpa Furse's dark basement bring such a mysterious thrill? What was I looking for?

Why is there such a dark thread of addiction, shame and emotional pain that weaves through this family web? Why did Ken Sr. desert his children, leaving them and their mother with internal wounds that have lingered to the present day? Why did Grandma marry Ken in the first place? What happened in Ken's childhood and adolescence to contribute to his troubled life? Who is Leona Larson, his mother? Who is Harold James Raleigh, his father? What happened in their formative years? Who were his siblings?

We literally have our ancestors within us. We are the product of their cumulative DNA - of all who came before us. They were real people. Real! With real pain, shame, sadness, regret, joy, excitement, hope. What did they think about? What made their hearts languish? I believe understanding them will help us understand ourselves, help break chains of addiction and contribute to bringing us real and lasting peace.

On this journey of discovery, I invite you to come with me. It won't always be pretty, and I only have a tip of understanding, but that's why I need you - family and those who have empathy for families and individuals in need of healing. There is also a lot of beauty in these stories - ups and downs but many who overcome the odds with faith and hope. Learning about people in our tree - the good and the bad - their authentic, real selves increases our love for them and others. It makes us more resilient, as this NY Times article describes and it knits us together, in unity but also to heal and make our hearts whole, which is what our world and what we all really need.